Purchase offsets for behaviors unbecoming a human being. The newest iteration of this old practice is the carbon offset. The idea is that one pays a fee to offset abuse or misuse of resources or decency. If you wish to purchase carbon offsets, contact Albert Gore. If you wish to purchase an offset for passing gas or cursing in public, this is the place.~
The AMIR and his family have been granting offsets since 1911 . The practice was adopted by his family when Emir Ali, the family historian, combined the ancient practices of dispensation and dhimmi. One can now pay a fee to misbehave and/or spare one's self from the displeasure or wrath of AMIR. Every purchase is accompanied by a document which states the behavior now allowed. An example is shown above.
